i am not sure if i understand what you mean with being a returner?
we are all returners, at least to speak for myself... I am
Always going in and out, coming and leaving. Sometimes I put the Course away ... to pick it up again later..always freely
I think that is the miracle..that you (i) are doing the lessons freely, not because you think you have to , but just beacuse you know they will make you happy.
Have a happy day, whatever it may look like

love Ankie