Hello, Helen..
You didn't lose your nasty post somewhere, the Holy Spirit "took" it....you are not the only one to think that you fail..but don't worry God's plan for salvation will work...you cannot concentrate on the lessons? So what? Do the best you can, and go on..the Holy Spirit will take over the rest...You ARE peaceful and joyous - never forget that; it's just the ego's desperate effort not to lose control of your life....
I, too, am facing similar problems...But I'm not worried. It's for good.
I, too, miss my practice periods, lose control of my thoughts that keep invading and distracting me...
I, too, stumble on thought patterns - grievances, anger and so on - that I thought I had overcome, and need to be undone.
But I don't worry...this is happening for good. The ACIM is doing the excavating job,- all the rubbish comes up in layers - and the Holy Spirit corrects and cleans all over the place..
One thing that helps me a lot, is sharing my thoughts and "problems" with the people from the miracle cafe by writing posts for my blog, comments, and messages...
The other thing that helps me immensely is Lisa Natoli's book "Gorgeous for God". If you don't have it, I strongly recommend it. It's on the ACIM bookstore. It's about how to apply the Course in your everyday life..

Blessings from Greece
Christina

Hi Ellen...well...if nothing else...getting that off your chest should leave you with a littlel peace...ha...
Seriously...I understand what you are going through...I am...according to my friend from high school (30+years ago) that I play golf with...a POLLYANA...trying to see the good in everything and everyone...but believe me...I have my moments...and it ain't pretty when I have them...
I know we are supposed to go through the book lesson by lesson...but we are HUMAN...and if we can't 'get' a lesson...I can...personally...see no harm in sticking with that lesson a little longer before we go to the next one...
Just my humble opinion...
Don't give up...
jena

You are definitely making progress. If you think it sucks NOT just WAIT until yoiu get absolutely no reward from reading it AT ALL. _ Love Russell

Ellen,
I once heard Marianne Williamson tell her radio listeners that if you never threw your ACIM book across the room, then it's not working. I have felt your frustration and openly resisted doing my lesson one day; I "had it out" with God that day and basically told Him that I'm done (that lasted only 2 hours, BTW). It is normal as ACIM students to feel as if we are regressing at times- and the pain/conflict within us can feel overwhelming. I've learned that Holy Spirit stirs up emotional garbage within us that we still need to acknowledge and let our Light shine upon it, so we can give it to Him. The key is to surrender to Him fully and let go. The "problems" of the ego are mere illusions, as is the ego itself. As long as we remember Who we truly are and join our will with His, these moments of pain and doubt will fade into the nothingness from where they originated. I wish you the best, and hope all the comments have helped you. Blessings.